What a Way to Die

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:

My transmitter’s broken. I’ve got no suit navigation. Protocols say I should wait for help, but there’s nothing out here but me and that big beautiful planet. Being optimistic I’m guessing I’ve got about, what, thirty minutes of O2 left? That’s if I breathe lightly and don’t talk. [EXPLETIVE]. Well I’m not going out like that. I’m not going to drift in and out of consciousness while I slowly suffocate to death. No way. I’m waiting for the sun to crest the horizon and I’m going out on my terms, with a view to die for. [LAUGH] So [PAUSE] 

So, I’m making this recording my last kind of hurrah, I guess. No, not last hurrah, that sounds too [EXPLETIVE]. My last observations, I guess. Ramblings of a dead man floating. I’m about 450 kilometres above earth, and I’m telling you, the view never gets old. It’s a damn cliché but I dreamed about this for so long, and I never thought I’d actually be here. I didn’t want the Moon or Mars, I wanted to be on the ISS, looking down at that big blue orb, looking at home. [PAUSE]

Did I ever talk about how much it frightened me, how much it frightens me now? Being so far from home. Maybe that’s why I didn’t want to go further than this. So I can keep an eye on earth, so home seems like it’s just within reach. [PAUSE] 

I can’t believe I’m having a personal epiphany right before I’m about to die. Well, actually, I suppose it’s a pretty good time to have one. When you know the beginning and the end. What the [EXPLETIVE] am I talking about? [LAUGH] [MISSION LEAD: JANE] Merson would say I’m just “prattling on for no reason”, and god do I know how to prattle. I hope Merson survived. I hope they all did. They all got blown in the opposite direction so [PAUSE]. 

No, I don’t want to talk about the accident here. I’ve already made official logs. Listen to those if you want a report. This one’s for me, for my prattling. Oh, I can see the glow. My god. I know I’ve said it already, but that [EXPLETIVE] view is something else. Breath-taking. If I could do this all again and still end up right here right now, I would. [PAUSE]

I’m floating here, above home, about to die, and do you know what just crossed my mind. I’ll never have chips again. [LAUGH]. Maybe I’m lower on oxygen than I thought. Food, huh, that’s where my brain’s going now. Not my family or friends. Food. [PAUSE]

Maybe that’s indicative of me. Another epiphany. 

[PAUSE] I’m little too selfish at times. Too focused on what I think is the right call. Thinking about I want, instead of what the people around me need. [PAUSE] 

I’m sorry. I’m sorry to everyone except Mum and Dad [LAUGH] because you’re the reason I’m so stubborn and selfish and [UNINTELLIGABLE]. [PAUSE] 

I’m sorry I’ll never get to see you two again. [PAUSE]

There she is, the sunrise. Wow. [PAUSE]

Just wow. The way the light dances across the horizon [UNINTELLIGABLE]. [PAUSE]

It’s [PAUSE] 

[CRYING] I’m sorry, it’s not because it’s the end, I made my peace with that before. I’m just so happy I got to do this. I’m so lucky. I’m sorry. [PAUSE]

I don’t want you to have to listen to the grisly bits, so I’ll end this recording. Go hug your loved ones, for me. [PAUSE] 

Never thought I’d have to choose how I go, but I’m kind of glad it’s like this. What a way to die. Specialist T. L. Adra signing off. 

END OF TRANSCRIPT.

SIGN-OFF TIME: 02-02-2040. 05:25 CET

RECOVERY TIME: 02-02-2040. 05:43 CET